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Amy Levine, MA, CSE(Sex Coach & Sexuality Educator)answered(7/30/2012)It's important to get out of your head, and grounded in your body. An orgasm can be as quick and simple as a sneeze. Or, on the opposite side of the spectrum it can be completely mindblowing.
Increased heart rate, a sense of release and internal contractions (usually of the uterus and sometimes anal opening) generally indicate orgasmic response.
Better to enjoy the journey. I bet once you are truly in the moment and out of your mind, you'll amp up your orgasmic level.
Roz Van Meter(Sex Therapist Diplomate and Licensed Marriage Therapist)answered(11/19/2012)Yep. You're overanalyzing. Our society praises thinking and OVERthinking to such an extent that our bodies can become a conveyance for carrying that head around. Meantime, all your senses want to get in on the act ... so, as the 60s poster said, "Lose your mind and come to your senses!" Just ride those waves and enjoy them!
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Meg Wanswered(7/1/2012)Yes! I used to feel this way myself and have had several conversations with women who have too. I apologize on behalf of anyone who has ever told you "If you don't know, you didn't have one" or "you just know!"—it is completely unhelpful for us overthinkers; not to mention no two women experience orgasm in precisely the same way. This is the good news and the bad news—you can't really look for answers external to yourself, you can only trust yourself and what you feel on the inside—literally, or perhaps right on the outside of the inside where you'll find your clitoris! :) Whatever you're doing to arrive at those situations where you feel like you're almost having one but not certain—keep doing that, over and over if you have to and wait patiently as they'll continue to get stronger and surer and you'll know where to go back to to find it each time. Another side note—not one of my friends orgasmed for the first time with a partner. Make sure you're having enough "alone time" :).
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Molly Panswered(7/1/2012)A very wise woman once said to me "overanalysis will be the death of your orgasm"—and I think i've proven it true. My experiences and the experiences of my female friends have told me that for women, sexual pleasure is intricately mental/emotional as much as it is physical. I think wondering if you're having an orgasm can definitely keep you from having one. If you're mind is filled with too many thoughts (whether about the sexual encounter you're having or about work, stress, etc), it can make climax extremely different. On the other hand, if you're able to focus on how good it's all feeling, you may be surprised how quickly you come!