25 Things You Should Know Before Getting Engaged

How to Determine if Your Partner’s The One

Considering whether or not he’s the one? Or are you past that and see engagement on the horizon? Either way, you’d be wise to take a step back to evaluate your partner and your dynamic to determine if you two have what it takes to live happily together in the long run. Check out our favorite advice on what you need to know before getting engaged, including wisdom garnered over the years by some of our favorite relationship experts.  


Do you bring out the best in each other?
This is the “first and foremost” thing to ask yourself: “Do you bring the best out in each other easily and effortlessly?” – Dr. Dar Hawks, relationship coach

Do you like who you are with your partner? Do you like the person you bring out in your partner? You and your partner should inspire each other to be your best and support each other’s endeavors and goals, personally and professionally.    


Do you get along with each other’s friends and family?

“Do your friends and family like him - and vice versa? The people who care about you the most will give you their honest opinion. You may not think that getting along with your in-laws is a huge deal, but they will be a part of your life—‘til death do you part!” – Rachel Thomasian, licensed marriage and family therapist


Do you fight fair? 
“It's important to know how to fight. No cheap punches, no kitchen sinks, no bringing up things that happened three years ago. Make sure both of you are able to have a disagreement in a respectful way, while having both of your voices heard.” – Thomasian    


Do you want to change your partner?

“What you see is what you get. Don't think you'll change your partner once you're married. If he does things that make you want to pull your hair out it's time to ask, ‘Can I live with him exactly as he is for the rest of my life?’ If not, it's time to move on.” – Angela Wilkinson, dating coach and relationship therapist 


Is your partner trustworthy?

“Find out if he's trustworthy; actions speak louder than words. If he makes more promises than he is able to follow through with, consider it a red flag.” – Thomasian    


Have you talked about money?
“Have you both talked about money in detail? Will you jointly handle the finances and be open about it?” – Hawks  

You need to know how your finances will be handled. Who will pay the bills or how will they be divided? Will you have joint checking accounts? Don’t forget to discuss debts you both may have—student loans, credit card debt, or car payments.  

If you or your partner is bringing any large assets into the marriage—inheritance, trust funds, property—this would be the time to discuss whether you will keep the funds as “mine” or if they become “ours.” Get it all out on the table before you tie the knot and make sure that you feel comfortable living with whatever compromise the two of you make.    


Do you agree on your future location?
Much like you should agree on your "big picture" items, you should also agree on roughly where you would like to physically be in the first few years of your marriage. If you want to move to a different city or embark on a career that may uproot you, your partner should know these things before you think about marriage.  

Don’t forget to discuss how and where holidays will be spent, especially if you have family in different places.    


Is there open communication in your relationship?

“Before getting engaged make sure you're comfortable discussing difficult and often avoided topics. If there's anything you haven't discussed, now is the time. Open communication is key to a healthy and long lasting relationship.” – Wilkinson    


Can he compromise?

How well does he compromise on small things? How he handles little compromises may not feel like a big deal, but expect his ability to compromise on small things to translate to bigger issues. He needs to be able to compromise, and how you react to his compromises (or lack thereof) will set a precedent for your dynamic.    


Is he clean or messy?
If you’re not living together yet, chances are he tidies up a bit before you come over. If he’s secretly a quasi-hoarder, or perhaps, bleaches his tiles every other night, those will be traits he’ll be bringing into your new home. And if you aren’t cool with it, we promise that it’ll quickly start wearing on you. On the flipside, you need to make him aware and comfortable with your threshold for messiness.    


How do you handle chores?
It may seem trivial, but guess what? If your partner is still dropping laundry off at his mom’s house, he’s certainly not going to be washing his own clothes when you’re married—you will. Make sure you agree on chores, helping around the house and meal preparation routines.  

If you don’t see yourself as a “suzy-homemaker” type, don’t lead your future husband on to make him believe you will be one when you get married.     


Are you excited or anxious?

“It's normal to have questions and mixed feelings. The key is that you feel excited more than anxious. As long as you do, know that you're on the right track. If not, allow yourself the space and time you need to get clear on what's best for you.” – Wilkinson    

Does your partner have a healthy family relationship?

“Does he have a healthy relationship with his family? Do you? If not, do you feel that you can handle the unhealthy relationship for the life of your relationship?” – Hawks    


Does he have a jailbird past?

You love your boyfriend for the man he is now, but you need to know if he has ever spent time in the slammer before you sign-up for marriage. This should matter to you because if your boyfriend has been arrested, it may hold back what college and graduate programs he can attend, what jobs he can get and thus what future you two can create.    


Do you have fun?
“Make sure you have fun together and you bring out the best in each other. These two things will keep the love alive for years to come!” –Thomasian    


How does he treat the women in his life?
Take a look at how your partner treats the top women currently in his life—his mom, grandma, or sisters. It can be a good clue as to how he treats and respects women, and in turn how he will treat and respect you.    


Do you agree on children?
It’s not as simple as, “Do you want to have kids?” You also need to discuss how many kids you want to have, when you want to start having them, if you think you should be a stay-at-home mom or not (or if he should be a stay-at-home dad), how you will treat discipline with your children, etc. If you’re of different religions—or even denominations—you want to make sure you’re on the same page as to under what religion the children would be brought up.    


Are you on the same page about sex?
“Have you talked about sex and intimacy needs so that you are both clear about them?” – Hawks  

You should be comfortable enough with your partner to discuss your needs in and out of the bedroom. A good sex life is a crucial part to maintaining a healthy relationship and marriage.    


Are you happy when you’re together AND apart from your partner?
“Do you feel good both when you are with him and when you are apart? Do you feel centered and grounded in your relationship or do you feel insecure?” – Hawks  

If you’re not happy with yourself alone, you won’t truly be happy with your partner. You should feel comfortable with your relationship whether you’re miles apart or hanging out on the couch on a Sunday afternoon. Be content to do things separately from your partner so that you don’t lose yourself and your unique, shining qualities in the relationship.    


Are you truly in touch with yourself?

“It is important that you are the ‘right partner’ before searching for a ‘right partner.’ What this means is understanding your own history, vulnerabilities, hurts, any potential unresolved pain in your heart from your past.” – Janie Lacy, licensed mental health counselor and certified sex addiction therapist     


Do you know your partner’s weird habits?
This is not exactly a deal breaker, but realize that if you’ve waited to live together until getting engaged, you’ll be learning a whole bunch of weird habits your partner has been hiding. He might refuse to completely finish a container of anything in the fridge, sleep at subzero temps, and we won’t even get into all those weird bathroom habits…    

Are you best friends?

We’re not saying you should be heading to the salon together for couple’s mani-pedis every Saturday—save that for the girls—but you should be uber close with your potential fiancé. It’s important that you like actually spending time with your boyfriend—in and out of the bedroom. When you have that solid foundation of friendship, the relationship potholes will be easier to glide over.     


Are you comparing your relationship to others?
Realize that your relationship is unique and you should not expect it to be like anyone else’s. So, for example, if your parents are divorced, it doesn’t mean you will end up divorced; and vice-versa: if your parents have been together forever, sadly it doesn’t mean your relationship will be as successful. Acknowledging this before getting engaged with set you on the right path.    


Are you expecting magic?
So after all of this soul searching, if you believe your partner is the one and you’re prepping yourself for engagement, heed this advice:    

Blame the movies or whatever, but many women have grandiose expectations of the magical moment when their partner proposes (and even see the quality of the proposal as a sign of the quality of his love). Those expectations are bound to set you up for disappointment.  

So before actually getting engaged, forget your expectations for the actual proposal. Simply enjoy your proposal and engagement for the unique, special event it is for you and your partner.    
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KittyL commented
Best advice ever! I agree with all the points especially about whether your partner brings out the best in you or not. People underestimate this and tend to say things like "we fight a lot because we are passionate people", I always disagree with this. You would never want to hang out with an acquaintance who makes you angry,so why should you be with a partner that does the very same thing?!
rmmcgrath927 commented
Totally agree with the best friends thing. Any relationship I'd ever had was "passionate" but there was something missing and it never really worked. Now, with my almost-fiance', we were co-workers and best friends first. It's made all the difference. We have passion, but we also defend, protect, and truly care for eachother. We've gone through a lot in our years, but being best-friends above all has truly made all the difference in how we got through tough times.
Jazzmine commented
I think that the point about having lives with each other and outside of each other is very important. It is great and very needed to be close with your partner but if you both do not have social outlets and lives of your own, it can prove very difficult to stay together in a happy and healthy relationship. This article definitely hit home for me and gave a lot of insight to a mature relationship that is ready to be taken to the next level
Anonymous commented
Very good points.
Wendy C. commented
Very good advice
anne commented
A lot was left out here. You should also know what the sexual expectations are. It sounds a little strange, but truly, if you think Saturday night dates are good enough and he wants it 5x a week, it is going to be a problem.
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ellynarkwright commented
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martinscott commented
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Lydia F. commented
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Lydia F. commented
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Sandra R. commented
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Marisa J. commented
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suzana barnett commented
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Anonymous commented
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Anonymous commented
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Anonymous commented
My name is CLIFFORD MARY from USA .I am here to give testimony on how I got my husband back. My husband left me for no reason 3 years ago. He moved in with another woman, I felt like killing myself, my life became very bitter and sorrowful. Then 1 day, a friend of mine told me about a great spell caster that is very good and, he said he gave him some lucky numbers that he played in a lottery and he won. I didn't believe it because I've worked with so many of them and it didn't work. He begged me further so I decided to try this great spell caster called DR OZIL. I still didn't believe. I used the spell he gave me and the next day I received a call from my darling husband Thomas last month. He apologized and came back to me. He even gave me 10,000USD as a means of compensating me. I'm very happy now. Thank you DR OZIL, You can reach him via email:(drozilsolutionhome@gmail.com or drozilsolutionhome@yahoo.com ) or through his website: http://drozilsolutionhome.webs.com/ He can solve any problem like, (1) If you want your ex back. (2) you need a divorce in your relationship. (3) You want to be promoted in your office. (4) You want women & men to run after you. (5) If you want a child. (6) You want to be rich. (7) You want to tie your husband & wife to be yours forever. (8) If you need financial stance. (9) He can make you pregnancy. (10) He can cure you from any diseases. contact:drozilsolutionhome@gmail.com or drozilsolutionhome@yahoo.com .....
Karen L. commented
Am Karen Lola from Scotland. I was having serious relationship problems with my boyfriend and it had resulted in him moving out to his friend’s apartment. Everything got worse because he started going to bars and strip clubs frequently with his friend, getting drunk and passing out. He always threatens me on phone whenever I call him because of all the bad advises that his friend has given him. I really love him and we had been dating for 8 years which gave us a beautiful daughter. I had also lost a lot of money on therapists until I was introduced to Dr. Trust by a friend whom he helped to marry her childhood boyfriend; this gave me total confidence and strength to get him back. I did all he asked and after 48 hours my boyfriend called me and rushed back home, things just changed between us emotionally. He has a job and stopped drinking and keeping irrelevant friends. It’s a miracle I never believed was possible because I had lost all hope until I found Dr.Trust. So that’s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe. All thanks goes to Dr.Trust for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com call him +2348156885231
Karen L. commented
Am Karen Lola from Scotland. I was having serious relationship problems with my boyfriend and it had resulted in him moving out to his friend’s apartment. Everything got worse because he started going to bars and strip clubs frequently with his friend, getting drunk and passing out. He always threatens me on phone whenever I call him because of all the bad advises that his friend has given him. I really love him and we had been dating for 8 years which gave us a beautiful daughter. I had also lost a lot of money on therapists until I was introduced to Dr. Trust by a friend whom he helped to marry her childhood boyfriend; this gave me total confidence and strength to get him back. I did all he asked and after 48 hours my boyfriend called me and rushed back home, things just changed between us emotionally. He has a job and stopped drinking and keeping irrelevant friends. It’s a miracle I never believed was possible because I had lost all hope until I found Dr.Trust. So that’s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe. All thanks goes to Dr.Trust for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com call him +2348156885231 ,....
Lizzy S. commented
SEEING IS BELIEVING!!!I met with DR.LIMPOPO JEFF. He is a true spellcaster. He brought back my ex within 24 hours after he casted a spell for me. I insisted i wanted to meet with him because of many bad experience i have had with fake spell casters from Africa and Asia and he came to me in Ohio all the way from NC. He is real and based in North Carolina in the United States. You have nothing to lose here. Contact him anytime directly via email:dr.limpopojeff@gmail.com or phone: when in the United States: Text message/call:+1(336) 914-0819 or in europe +37063660187 You are in safe hands. He is always ready to help...Goodluck Elizabeth OHIO shannonlizzy106@yahoo.com
juliecarl1605 commented
Hello!!! My name is Julie Carl from Bogota in Colombia, I wish to share my testimony with the world about Dr. Saviour. After 7 years of marriage, my husband left me with our son. I was browsing the internet when i read one MARIA ROBERTS testimony on how Dr. Saviour helped her with her relationship issues and i decided to give it a try. So i contacted the E-mail of Dr. Saviour (dr.saviourspiritualtemple@gmail.com) i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place that i should fill some information concerning myself i did after 30 minute he called me again congratulating me that my problems will be solve within two days. he told me what went wrong with my Husband and how it happened that he will restore my marriage, few days back, my husband called me and told me he was sorry and that he wants to come back to me and that he would explain everything when he comes back. I want to thanks Dr. Saviour for what he has done for me and my family. You can contact him via email: dr.saviourspiritualtemple@gmail.com
Rina W. commented
Thanks to DR MARVELOUS for saving my marriage, i have been married to my Husband for 15 years, we have 2 kids together and our marriage was wonderful.Am very happy to tell every one my testimony Am Rina Wendy from united state,am a nurse,this story of my love life.I have been married for 4years and all this year of my marriage, another woman had to take my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2years until i met a post where this man called DR MARVELOUS have helped many people and i decided to give him a reply on his Email if he can help me bring my lover back home and he ask me some information which i send to him and that of my husband and after 48hours as he have told me, i saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids caring and bagging for forgiveness and that is why i am happy today DR MARVELOUS really make the woman i am today for any one looking for how to get his or her ex back or any problem you are having i advice you DR MARVELOUS si the solution to all problem .You can contact him with this email address MARVELOUSLOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM OR MARVELOUSLOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM OR CALL +2348107938405....web sit http://marvelouslovespell.webs.com/
Anonymous commented
was looking for powerful magic spells for love. I was upset and depressed. Dr OBODO helped me finding my true love.his address templeofanswer@hotmail.co.uk or cell +2348155425481
Anonymous commented
Dr obodo, I wanted to take a minute to thank you for all of your work and effort. I requested a love spell and received the strengthen our relationship and within 3 days my lover was back and home with me and we are finally talking about marriage and kids! I cannot thank you enough for your spell casting services! I have already recommended two friends to you for help with their love lives!!! also viewer out there here is Dr obodo templeofanswer@hotmail.co.uk or quick response +2348155425481 Bless you and Thank you
Carrie S. commented
Dr. Kizzekpe is really the best i have ever seen since my husband left me and my kids i have been trying different online spell caster and i did not see any result until a friend of mine gave me his contact Email address that i should contact him that he will be able to help me. The first time he told me what i have to do i thought he was the same as the other so called spell caster but i just have to give it a try which i did and after he did the casting of the spell i started seeing changes my husband send gift to my kids and also wrote a letter that he was going to come back home very soon i was so surprise and now we are back together again thank you My husband came back home after 4days with so much love and care. Here is his contact kizzekpespells@outlook.com . if you wish to seek help from him. Craig...........
Carrie S. commented
Dr. Kizzekpe is really the best i have ever seen since my husband left me and my kids i have been trying different online spell caster and i did not see any result until a friend of mine gave me his contact Email address that i should contact him that he will be able to help me. The first time he told me what i have to do i thought he was the same as the other so called spell caster but i just have to give it a try which i did and after he did the casting of the spell i started seeing changes my husband send gift to my kids and also wrote a letter that he was going to come back home very soon i was so surprise and now we are back together again thank you My husband came back home after 4days with so much love and care. Here is his contact kizzekpespells@outlook.com . if you wish to seek help from him. Craig...........
Anonymous commented
My name is Elena Deri. I am from Canada, I have great joy in me as i am writing this testimony about the great man called Dr. Trust When my lover left me i never taught that i will be able to get him back after all he has put me through, But i am so happy that after the interference of Dr. Trust i was able to get my lover back after 48hours and i can proudly to say, that who ever need help in getting there lover back should contact Dr. Trust on these contact details below Ultimatespellcast@hotmail.com for proper understanding of what i have just witness. And i promise that he will help you as he help me. or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com call +2348156885231
Anonymous commented
My name is Elena Deri. I am from Canada, I have great joy in me as i am writing this testimony about the great man called Dr. Trust When my lover left me i never taught that i will be able to get him back after all he has put me through, But i am so happy that after the interference of Dr. Trust i was able to get my lover back after 48hours and i can proudly to say, that who ever need help in getting there lover back should contact Dr. Trust on these contact details below Ultimatespellcast@hotmail.com for proper understanding of what i have just witness. And i promise that he will help you as he help me. or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com call +2348156885231 .....
Anonymous commented
I am Ashley Lisa , I am hear to give testimony of how I got back my husband, we got married for more than 2 years and we have two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way I could not understand, I was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come again and he called me that he want a divorce, I asked him what have I done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying that he want a divorce and that he hates me and do not want to see me again in his life, I was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do, I was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. I love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. I told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, I never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. I just want to try if something will come out of it. I contacted Dr. Mako, at (makospelltemple@yahoo.com) for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman that she cast a spell on him that is why he hates me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they cast the spell and after 3 days my husband called me and he told me that I should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still love me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that the Dr. Mako, casted out on him that made him come back to me, today me and my family are now happy again today. thank you Dr. Mako, for what you have done for me I would have been nothing today if not for your great help. I want you my friends who are passing through this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact (makospelltemple@yahoo.com) and you will see that your problem will be solved
Anonymous commented
Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony.I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address ogbonispelltemple@hotmail.com , have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 2 days that i will have my husband back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr.Ogboni. His email: ogbonispelltemple@hotmail.com
Anonymous commented
GREAT DR. TAJU THAT HELP ME SAVE MY RELATIONSHIP. Good Day everybody, my names is ALEX BECKY, am from the United State of America, i want to give thanks and honor to Dr. Taju for the great work he did for me, he brought my lover within 48 hours which i never taught it will ever come through in my life, but this great man Dr. Taju proved to me that powers can do wonders, i got his contact from a friend in the USA who he helped, this friend of mine told me that this man is great but i felt as hmm are you sure? cause i hardly believe those kind of things,so she told me not to worry that when i contact him, that she is guaranteeing me 100% that my lover will come back that if it does not work that she will be the one to give me back my money, to show her sincerity to me, she gave me her car that if it does not work that and she did not pay me the money that i spent that she i should collect her car and she gave me all the documents, i was so so surprised she was very serious about it so that was how i contacted him and i told him what i want he just told me that everything will be done within 24 hours so with the assurance my friend gave me i was having confident, so in the next 24 hours that he told me i just heard a knock on my door i never knew it was mark, so that was how i opened the door the first thing he did was to go on his knees, he started begging me to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything, i was really surprised and was also happy, so that was how i forgived him and now we are living together happily than ever before, am very happy thanks be to Lucy who gave me his contact and honor be onto Great DR. TAJU who helped a lot, if you need his help or you want to thank him for me you can contact him through drtajulovespellhome@gmail.com or drtajulovespellhome@yahoo.com. you can contact him through his web address: http://greatrdrtajulovespellhome.webs.com. or contact him through his mobile number number +2348110496031 You can also read my testimony on my blogger site: http://alexbecky11.blogspot.com
Anonymous commented
GREAT DR. TAJU THAT HELP ME SAVE MY RELATIONSHIP. Good Day everybody, my names is ALEX BECKY, am from the United State of America, i want to give thanks and honor to Dr. Taju for the great work he did for me, he brought my lover within 48 hours which i never taught it will ever come through in my life, but this great man Dr. Taju proved to me that powers can do wonders, i got his contact from a friend in the USA who he helped, this friend of mine told me that this man is great but i felt as hmm are you sure? cause i hardly believe those kind of things,so she told me not to worry that when i contact him, that she is guaranteeing me 100% that my lover will come back that if it does not work that she will be the one to give me back my money, to show her sincerity to me, she gave me her car that if it does not work that and she did not pay me the money that i spent that she i should collect her car and she gave me all the documents, i was so so surprised she was very serious about it so that was how i contacted him and i told him what i want he just told me that everything will be done within 24 hours so with the assurance my friend gave me i was having confident, so in the next 24 hours that he told me i just heard a knock on my door i never knew it was mark, so that was how i opened the door the first thing he did was to go on his knees, he started begging me to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything, i was really surprised and was also happy, so that was how i forgived him and now we are living together happily than ever before, am very happy thanks be to Lucy who gave me his contact and honor be onto Great DR. TAJU who helped a lot, if you need his help or you want to thank him for me you can contact him through drtajulovespellhome@gmail.com or drtajulovespellhome@yahoo.com. you can contact him through his web address: http://greatrdrtajulovespellhome.webs.com. or contact him through his mobile number number +2348110496031 You can also read my testimony on my blogger site: http://alexbecky11.blogspot.com